Time sure flies, there finally comes a moment when I am on the age that, when I was younger, I thought someone in this age is an adult (mentally) and has everything set and becomes successful. Well, in that case, I am neither those two yet. A lot of things happen, especially in past year. April has never been this scary for me, it is not an overstatement that I say, it traumatized me.

My life in general for me is not that sweet one, but I never thought it could be this messy. I am used to spending the pocket money from my parents super carefully, I rarely asked for what I want, contrary to popular belief of being the only child, I know my parent’s capability, and I never want to burden them. Never in my wildest dream ever predict that this might be not the best idea. One of the reason is when I have my own (little) money I am not good managing it, I over-invest it in the early month since I don’t want to spend it for non-essential things.  I haven’t even gone on a trip since my UK trip December 2016. I am that one person that I don’t think I deserve to appreciate myself if I don’t achieve something. Which seems like not always true.

But I really do need to go somewhere I have never been to hear the sound of the sea or to breathe the fresh air. I wish I could do trips with my family which we never really have a proper one, someday, someday. When it is good enough, when I am capable enough.

I really think I am on my PMS since I am being unnecessarily sensitive.


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